Why are car websites so bad?

I was intrigued by an Infiniti advert about its new hybrid model (Infiniti = posh Nissan, a bit like a Lexus is not a Toyota), so I went to the website. The site takes a while to load on less-than-hyperspeed Cornish broadband – lots of moving graphics and fine pictures of cars – but is singularly uninformative when you get there. The model I was intrigued by is front and centre of the home page, as you might expect for something being actively promoted, and you can click on the image to get to a page specific to that model. When you get there, you find a picture of the car which you can click to rotate so you can see it from different angles and a running news strip of its umpteen wondrous features. Clicking on the picture and the news strip does nothing. Nothing else seems specifically connected.

There is a general “download brochure” button, from which you have to re-state the model you are interested in (several clicks) and then enter your name and contact details, without which it will not let you download anything. Stuff that. I am rapidly losing interest in the car, and the brand. And the company.

However, in a spirit of undaunted exploration I click on the name of the model range in the top banner, from which in only one more click I arrive at another, different page for the model. Here I find some information. Why couldn’t this be the page I was first taken to? It doesn’t contain an overwhelming amount, and I had to wait a couple of seconds every time I clicked for the next piece, but it’s better than nothing. Just.

I hope their cars are better designed than their website, that’s all.

P.S.
I’m not going to buy one.

P.P.S.
For comparison I tried the Ford website: moving pictures everywhere, unasked-for music, and information only in tiny chunks. Hence my opening hypothesis: all car websites are bad. Can anyone find a counter-example to prove me wrong?

Snowdrops and Daffodil

In Woking, the snowdrops around our apple trees have been out for some time.

Snowdrops

Snowdrops in Woking

In Wadebridge, there are snowdrops out, but also a daffodil.

Daffodil in Wadebridge

Only green shoots visible on the daffodils in Woking so far. Wadebridge thinks it’s Spring.

Ladders

The solar panel people have been and there are now 20 solar PV panels neatly installed on our east-facing roof, with cables running down the side of the house and into the inverter hanging on the wall of our utility area.

Nothing is quite straightforward at Treforest. To get the inverter in the right position, I had to take down a little shelving unit that has been there for decades. It wasn’t very decorative – bare wood, with no paint, varnish or polish – so I wasn’t that sad to see it go. The interesting bit was how it had been fixed: the shelves were nailed to four wooden supports which in turn had been nailed on to the walls using 2-inch masonry nails. Whoever did that meant those shelves staying up. Whoever did that gave no thought whatsoever to how some poor sap might take them down.

A bit of brute force with a hammer lifted the shelves off the supports and a bit more work with the hammer and some pincers removed the nails from the shelves so you could handle them without piercing yourself.

Then came the supports. I tried hammering in a wedge and levering the supports away, but they wouldn’t budge. I did more damage to the wall than the support, I think. Next I chiselled into the supports, splitting them by the nails. The resulting fragments of wood were easy to remove. This left eight nails protruding from the wall by less than a centimetre, which meant 80% of each nail was still embedded in the masonry. My pincers were too small and weedy to get and maintain a grip. My hammer was not a claw hammer – good for hitting nails in, but not for pulling nails out. By now, the hardware shop in town was closed, so I decided to leave it until morning, when the electrician would be coming. He would be bound to have a claw hammer.

In fact he did, but it still took a mighty effort to heave out those nails, which brought off the surrounding plaster, leaving me with eight holes to fill, smooth and decorate. In fact, more than eight, because there were several holes revealed under the supports, where (I imagine) earlier attempts at nailing had failed. Take my advice: think about future generations, use screws. (My great-uncle Bill, a joiner in the family building firm, always used to hammer screws in, just giving them a turn at the end. “The slot’s for taking them out,” he said.)

The panel fitter (a former roofer) told me that some of my roof tiles were looking a bit dodgy round the roof lights. Since the roof lights had only gone in last November, this sounded alarming. “Let’s take a look,” he suggested. So we climbed up the ladder lashed to the scaffolding – a long ladder which even so only just reached the level of the planks, and a wobbly ladder because it was so long – and went to investigate.

Was this sensible, I hear you ask, to climb up a high, wobbly ladder? At my age? After all, the scaffolding planks must have been at seven metres, two and a half storeys, since the land slopes down outside the house.

The last time I went up high on ladders was shortly after I joined Shell. I was doing an audit of a plant shutdown at the Stanlow refinery. The manager handed me over to a plant supervisor to show me round. I was kitted out with boots, overall, gloves and helmet. The boots didn’t fit properly and rubbed, but they did have steel toecaps. The helmet was cool. I used to keep it visible on the parcel shelf in my car when driving round the refinery and it gave me much easier access through the various security gates. I have a photo of Eleanor aged about three wearing it, looking very cute. Anyway, the first thing the supervisor did was start climbing a sixty foot reactor column. I decided that this was some form of test  of the besuited office auditor chappie and went after him. We got to the top – great view over the Mersey – and came down again. Then he climbed another reactor column, and so did I. After that, things were OK. One thing, though: the ladders didn’t wobble.

Back to the solar panels. I climbed carefully and the ladder didn’t wobble much. We looked at the tiles, and he wasn’t talking about the tiles round the roof lights at all, but the ones along the valley, which have been in place for quite a few years, since the roof last leaked there, and where it hasn’t leaked in the intervening time. Also, the tiles weren’t that bad to my eye, just not up to his perfectionist standards. I don’t complain; he had replaced three or four broken tiles in areas of the roof not immediately connected with fitting the panels.

It’s a good view from up there, and it was good to see the panels up close, an opportunity that won’t come again.

The panel fitters went, leaving the electrician to finish his job. It’s always the electrician at the end.

The next morning, I got up and almost the first thing I did was check the display on the inverter. The panels were producing about 300 Watts, somewhat below the rated 3.9 kW. But it was early, the sun was low on the horizon and there was a layer of frost over the panels. Ninety minutes later it was up to 1.3 kW and rising. I am having to make determined efforts not to keep checking the thing – it’s addictive.

1.4kW…

Where’s my bonus?

After all, I’ve been acting like a banker for the last few days – juggling funds between accounts, based on Excel cash forecasts, to keep earning interest until the last moment whilst putting just enough in the current account to pay the outgoings.

The builders finished the snagging list on our loft conversion on Tuesday and thus technically finished the conversion works. The architect issued the completion statement and the penultimate invoice, and so we have to pay them a chunk of cash. The good news is that the costs will be less than their initial quotation. ‘How can this be?’ you ask. ‘Do not builders always overrun on time and budget?’ In this case, they did not. They finished on time, apart from the snagging list, and they finished under budget because they did not need to use all the 10% contingency included in their original quote. Very professional. I mentioned in a previous blog that we were pleased with what they had done. We still are. Well done, G A Wildish of Bodmin!

The other thing I have to pay, which has been on the radar for ages, is the tax on my redundancy payment. The timing could hardly have been better. I left Shell on 31st March 2010. My redundancy payment came through in April 2010, i.e. in the 2010/11 tax year, the tax for which does not have to be paid until 31st January 2012. So we have had the tax earning interest (taxable) for 21 months until now, when the day of reckoning looms. Our healthy looking savings account suddenly doesn’t look so healthy any more.

That was OK, though, all planned for. The next thing is solar panels. After a competitive tender, the guy from WREN lost out to another company, Cornwall Solar, who can fit the panels next week. So I will be staying in Cornwall for a couple of extra days to enable that, though Diana will have to return home as planned because of meetings. But also, I had to move more funds around to pay them, sooner than I had expected. The savings account is now looking very weedy indeed.

After that comes carpets. We’ve had the new loft room, stairs and landing measured and chosen the carpet we want, from the hard wearing artificial fibre range (cheaper than wool), and they will be fitting it towards the end of February. More cost, more spending. I suspect the mighty credit card will be brought into action.

But, with amazing prescience, two fixed term cash ISAs mature this month and next, providing much needed liquidity at just the right time. What foresight! What expertise! What impeccable planning! What undeniable luck!

Just like a real banker…

Four Hours

Been a busy week. Last Sunday, Jerry from Wadebridge Renewable Energy Network (WREN) came to our Cornish house to size up the roof for solar panels. Although the feed in tariff has been reduced, subject to challenge in the courts, the prices that suppliers are charging have also reduced, because they and the solar panel manufacturers want to keep business going. The effect has been that a 1.5kW installation would have cost £7500 before, but a 3 kW installation is now £8500, so the economics are almost back where they were for customers.

On Monday the architect came to check the snagging list – all the little things the builders hadn’t done first time and had to put right. There were still a few things not done, and a couple of extra ones not spotted first time round. On Tuesday morning, Mat from another solar panel supplier came to size up the roof. While doing that, we went into the loft space  – the part not converted into a room – and saw that the specified new insulation had not been put in – another item for the snagging list. On Tuesday afternoon we drove back to Woking.

On Wednesday I wrote a story for Woking Writers Circle. On Thursday I took apart Eleanor’s desk to ready it for transporting to Oxford, and went to the writers circle meeting. On Friday I packed the car with Eleanor’s desk and other furniture and belongings. On Saturday we drove to Oxford and delivered all the furniture and belongings, Diana dropped in on Tris in Wadham College, we went to Eleanor’s old flat, picked up bags of recycling and deposited them at the recycling centre, had lunch, saw round Eleanor and Joe’s new house with curtains and furniture all in, then drove to Cornwall again, arriving in time to get fish and chips for supper.

It took us about four hours to get to Wadebridge from Oxford. It always takes four hours and it doesn’t seem to matter where we start. From Woking to Wadebridge is four hours. From Bromyard to Wadebridge is four hours. I reckon it would be four hours from Edinburgh! (At least, once the direct flight from there to Newquay starts in March.)

Mental Health Education

Last Thursday, a day when Diana and I should by rights have been taking Tris up to Oxford, we went instead to the Surrey History Centre for the launch of a Mental Health Education Pack, under the auspices of Woking MIND. And the reason we went was that, instead of going up to Oxford, Tris was one of the two presenters doing the launching.

She and a friend, Lexy Rose, spent the last year and a half initiating and working on the pack, the purpose of which is to provide a resource for teachers to address issues of mental health in PSHE (Personal, Social and Health Education) classes for teenagers. Both are Oxford Experimental Psychologists, Tris still an undergraduate and Lexy a graduate; both do voluntary work at Woking MIND; and both care about young people who suffer from a mental health problem (about 1 in 10 young people, according to the statistics) and the stigma associated with it  –  a double jeopardy.

Their idea was to produce material to enable teachers with no prior knowledge of mental health problems to teach youngsters effectively, giving them an understanding and, more importantly, an empathy for their fellows who suffer from such problems. Over the eighteen or so months, they developed the material – lesson plans, student activity sheets, background information for teachers – and had it reviewed by experts, from Oxford academics to teachers to young sufferers.

Tris, Luke and Lexy

They also collected over a hundred personal accounts of what it feels like to suffer from depression, or psychosis, or other problem. With a little template design input from a Word master (your humble blogger coughs modestly) and a website developed especially by another friend of Tris, Luke Humphreys, they had a complete product. And since everyone freely donated their time and expertise, the pack is available for free.

But a great product is no use if nobody uses it, so the launch was to tell teachers and professionals in related areas (although intended for schools, the pack can be used in other environments – training nurses, for example) all about it. The date was picked (not by Tris, unfortunately, which is how it came to be on the day she ought to have been arriving in Oxford) and the location booked.

They wrote a press release and sent it out, and Lexy was interviewed on BBC Radio Surrey. Some thirty or forty people turned up, including proud parents of the two authors, and Woking’s MP, Jonathan Lord (Con). Although Diana knows him through her political activity as a County Councillor (LibDem), she didn’t go across and say hello. She was there as parent not County Counciller and didn’t want Tris and Lexy’s achievement to be clouded by association with opposing politics.

Tris and Lexy with Jonathan Lord, MP

The presentation, done by Tris and Lexy alternating, went well and engendered appreciation and support from those present, and of course the MP had to say some words. I mustn’t be nasty; they were very nice words. After the presentation and questions, we dived into plentiful and pleasant sandwiches and chatted with others present.

This is the website: http://www.mentalhealtheducation.org.uk

I encourage you to have a look at it. 1 in 10 young people suffer from mental health problems, but 1 in 4 adults do so at some point in their lives, so it has relevance for everyone. I especially encourage you to have a look if you are involved in teaching or education, because you might just find something useful. For free.

Gender Balance

I’ve just watched a piece on Newsnight (BBC) on the state of British manufacturing industry and how the economy needs to be rebalanced between services and manufacturing. What struck me was the composition of the panel discussing it. There were a presenter, an entrepreneur, an academic, an MP and a journalist. All five were women.

If all five had been men, I wouldn’t have gone to the blog with it, but the fact that they were all women is noteworthy. It happens so rarely. I even called Diana in to see it, since she generally complains at the lack of women on discussion panels, be they serious (Newsnight, Question Time) or not (Have I Got News For You, QI, Mock The Week).

They were not taking a “woman’s point of view” on manufacturing. They were not discussing “women’s manufacturing”. They were the people called in to discuss British manufacturing and doing it as well as anybody. In fact, I liked the lack of raised voices and the presence of rational argument.

Excellent!  Let’s have more of it, so we get to the stage where it’s no longer unusual enough to comment on.

Keep going, BBC. A few more like this and you’ll have started to make amends for the Sports Personality of the Year shortlist.

New Year’s Day

That was a December!

A few days after the SOGs lunch (see last posting) I drove to Herefordshire to see my mother and family at The Green and deliver Christmas presents, leaving Diana and Tris at home (Diana had Council meetings). After a few miles I realised I was wearing the wrong shoes – trainers rather than black leather. This was a problem not so much for the shoes themselves as for the orthotic insoles in them, which go in my other shoes as well (except trainers). So I did a turnabout, waiting for the next convenient roundabout rather than instantly blocking the A322 with an attempted U-ie, and greatly surprised Diana when I came back in through the door. As I put on the right shoes, she told me that my mother had phoned and the lane outside her house and the drive to the house were blocked by a tree that had just fallen down in high winds. It almost made the wasted half hour not a waste.

So, I approached The Green from the other end of the lane and parked in the farmyard. Mum was out so I collected the key from my sister-in-law Ann next door and unloaded the car. Ann said that the local council had in fact cleared the tree so the lane was now open. Remarkable alacrity from the council. I stayed a few days, put up the heavy curtains over the front door (effective draft proofing), helped with shopping and left the presents and a Christmas cake. Nice to see the family.

Then I headed to Cornwall for a site meeting at Treforest. Since the beginning of October, the upstairs at Treforest has been pulled apart and reconfigured to put in a loft room and proper stairs. The work was approaching its end and I wanted to be there when the decorators started work, to answer any questions and avoid things like the yellow paint of the hall being used in the bedroom.

It rained pretty much the whole time I was there. It was raining on Sunday afternoon as I arrived and called into Tesco to stock with milk and food and stuff. It slackened off a little on Monday morning when I walked around town and bought some Christmas presents and failed to buy others. It rained the rest of Monday, such that I didn’t even fancy going out for fish and chips. It rained on Tuesday and eased by the evening when I did go out for fish and chips. It rained on Wednesday morning and I packed the car between showers. It rained most of the way home.

The next day was the Woking Writers Circle Christmas Dinner. We have not gone for real Christmassy dinners the last few years (2009 and 2010 were Chinese) and 2011 was no exception. We went to the Greek Olive, a Green restaurant – pardon me, the Green Olive, a Greek restaurant in Chobham and had a pleasant mezze with lots of different tastes and some nice wine. Dermot had created a multiple choice quiz, which caused some controversy. One question asked which two animals were crossed to make a quagga, and I picked the right answer, according to Dermot. However, there was a vociferous school of thought which claimed the quagga as a species in its own right. Technically they were correct, but since the ‘umpire is always right’, I scored the point and won the quiz. No prizes, just smug satisfaction.

At the weekend Diana and I both went to Cornwall again, for the final week of works. The new doors were all fitted, though not all of them had handles yet – we had to be careful not to trap ourselves in the sitting room – some lengths of skirting board were missing (still being made to match by the carpenter) and decorating not yet finished, but generally it looked about done. We showed our neighbours, who have the almost mirror image house next door, what we had been up to.

On Tuesday we went to see Sherlock Holmes 2 at the Regal, Wadebridge’s two-screen cinema. Lots of action and disguises, but not much plot, and what plot there was pulled out of a hat.

On Wednesday we went round the house looking at everything with a critical eye, this time spotting all the little blemishes and writing them down, in preparation for the final site meeting on Thursday when we went round again with the architect and building manager. This resulted in the official ‘snagging list’ which the builders and their sub-contractors have to fix before the job is complete. We’ll be down again in January to see how it’s turned out and start planning the next step – carpets.

On Friday we packed ourselves up (except for my phone charger, as it happened), called in at Tesco to buy sandwiches for the journey (preferable to Little Chefs and motorway services, we’ve decided) and a turkey, and went home. On Saturday it was the final pre-Christmas shop in Waitrose (not too harrowing), putting up the tree (a synthetic one with fibre optic branches and glowing branch tips – dead easy!), final present wrapping and the discovery of the missing phone charger. Fortunately, I can borrow Diana’s cable, when she doesn’t need it.

Christmas was the three of us. So was Boxing Day. Grateful not to be driving anywhere.

On 27th, Ellie and Joe came for a few days, brought by Joe’s parents Chez and Richard, who stayed for a very pleasant lunch. After they had left, Ellie launched into bedroom clearance. She and Joe now own a house in Oxford, with space for books and stuff – and believe me she has plenty of both in her old bedroom. Or rather, she had plenty. Most of it is now in Oxford, quite a bit in our waste and recycling bins and some at the hospice shop. We drove them up on Thursday with the back loaded high enough to obscure but not obliterate the rear view. There will be another trip, though, with the back seats folded flat to give enough space for the (disassembled) desk, telescope and other large objects.

Last night was New Year’s Eve. Tris went out with friends. Diana and I stayed in, trying not to estimate the carbon footprint of the fireworks display around Westminster and the London Eye.

Happy 2012!

Twas the SOGs before Christmas…

… and all through the house, not a creature was stirring – because they’d all gone to Bank Street.

Well, not quite all, but the bits of Shell Centre visible from the walkway out of Waterloo Station looked bleak and empty. Having missed the last SOGs (yes, I know I organise them and pick the date – actually, those two things are pretty much the same thing – so I ought to have been able to manage it, but Cornish events intervened and I had to be in Wadebridge on the date I’d picked), I proposed a December lunch which as it turned out only a few people could get to. Alun and John M came, and newbie SOG Nigel V. plus SOG-in-training Mike, making a select five in all.

Excuses Reasons for not coming included visiting brother-in-law in hospital (hope he’s OK, Keith), making unexpected progress in a golf tournament (hope you had a successful day, Malcolm), a Citizens Advice Bureau party (hope you didn’t end up needing advice, Paul), being in Arizona (not as an illegal immigrant, I hope, Gary) or in Australia (mind the spiders, David), plus sundry other appointments.

There had been some discussion beforehand about the date perhaps clashing with the staff Christmas lunch. Enquiries among current staff revealed a total lack of information, and it wasn’t until Friday 9th that an announcement was made about it being on 13th. And a second sitting on the 14th. Table reservations required. It’s all going downhill. You’ll be telling me next that they’re closing the pension scheme to new entrants. What? They are? Good grief!

We checked in at Reception, having battled against the wind along Belvedere Street to reach the entrance, and made our way up to the second floor. I saw Suzanne in the lift lobby, but she didn’t have time for more than a quick hello as she was heading to meet someone. I forget how not everyone has time to stop and chat. In the restaurant, the game of ‘how close can I get to £6 without going over’ began. My moussaka with salad and a blueberry cheesecake fell 80p short – not really trying there – but it was a good moussaka and a very pleasant cheesecake, so I’m not too bothered.

Mike regaled us with tales of being the oldest one in his department, the font of corporate wisdom, to whom all the young people come to ask ‘Do you know about…’  The answer is typically yes, and when it isn’t, he knows someone who does. The assembled SOGs could be seen nodding in recognition, and were glad to be out of it. Mike has found himself in the unfortunate position of being indispensable, the only one who knows how a particular system really works. To an out-of-work youngster (by which I mean anyone up to the age of about 45), this might sound like heaven, guaranteed employment. To a SOG-in-training it is… different.

After lunch we adjourned the meeting to the Slug and Lettuce across the road. We came here once before, for lunch, and they didn’t have any draft beer. What do you know – they didn’t have any draft beer again. Nor Guinness. It was lagers all round. Maybe one day we’ll learn. No, that’s unfair. We go more often to other pubs where the beer is good, but the Slug has an advantage on a cold, windy day: it is very close.

At about twenty to four, I made a move, since I had only twenty minutes and probably only one train for which my super-cheap rail ticket remained valid. On Waterloo concourse, there were lots of people, too many. On Waterloo train indicator board, there were few trains indicated, too few. Despair gnawed at my stomach. There was one train for Woking, due to have departed already, so I made for it with all haste. It was full, with people standing up in the entrance areas and all seats occupied. Near the front, I got on and decided to go through into the carriage to stand up there. To my surprise and delight, there were some empty seats, so I sat down. People continued to get on for the next ten or fifteen minutes, loosely filling the gangways. The guard pleaded for people to move up inside the carriages and was stoically ignored by the British public. Eventually the train pulled out, only to stop at Clapham, ostensibly to allow more people on. The same pleas had the same lack of effect. At Woking, the train stopped for quite a time to allow the departing throng (me amongst them) to squeeze past the non-departing mass and get off. The reason for the disruption, sadly, was a person going under a train at New Malden. Once again I felt glad not to be doing that journey on a regular basis.

The limits of middle classness

A while ago we bought a Philips food processor and registered our purchase with Philips to get a free accessory box. It was nice to get the accessory box, but I’m beginning to think it was a Faustian pact. Since then Philips have bombarded me with emails of more products that I might like. Did I not know that they would do this? That the only reason they offer a free accessory box is to get hold of my email address? Yes, of course I did, but it’s what they offer that’s insidious, gadgets that try to worm their way into your affections.

On Sunday, for example (it’s reassuring to know that Philips works on a Sunday) they told me about an espresso machine – a device with beans-to-cup customisation and dynamic multi-media user interface. It remembers six unique user profiles and for each of those six,  up to nine customised beverages. To identify which of the six you are, it has fingerprint user recognition.

You merely put your finger on the recognition device and select from your choice of nine beverages and it grinds the beans precisely to specification, brews them for just how long you like it, adds the perfect amount of milk and froth, delivers it into your cup and goes off to clean and descale itself. How could one not love this machine?

Well, first off, I resented having to give my fingerprints to enter the USA. To get a cup of coffee, it’s outrageous. It’s the thin end of the wedge. What kind of society do we have where even coffee machines keep track of you?

Next, it costs £1,700. I don’t think I need say any more. £1,700, and you still have to buy the beans.

The eurozone is going tits up, the FTSE is dropping, the unemployment rate is rising. But don’t worry, the splendid chaps at Philips have brought out this terrific coffee machine, the cost of which covers what a 24-year old on jobseekers allowance is expected to live on for 33 weeks.

I suppose if I were a banker with a bonus to get rid of, it might appeal. If I won the lottery – no, I never buy a ticket so that won’t happen. Let’s keep this realistic – if I won a million on the premium bonds I might consider it. Diana wouldn’t even do that. If we won a million you could have the new Mercedes, she said, but I wouldn’t give the coffee machine houseroom. Where would we put it?

She has a point. The coffee machine would go ideally in one of those huge kitchen-dining rooms that everyone on ‘Escape to the Country’ seems to want. We have a more traditional arrangement – a tiny kitchen, but separate breakfast room, pantry and utility room. If we bought a £1,700 coffee machine, it wouldn’t fit in the kitchen. We would have to build a separate alcove for it in the breakfast room, a shrine to the stainless steel household god of coffee where we would light votive candles and genuflect to appease it on our way past to the kitchen, where we would shove a teaspoon of instant into a mug and pour on nearly boiling water.