The Chicon IV Program Book was a major publication, 144 pages in that standard American ‘US Letter’ size, slightly shorter and wider than A4. It had all the information you could possibly need about the con, the people, the main events, the Hugo nominees. It even had a weapons policy.

The weapons policy begins: ‘1. No “real” firearms, ordnance or ammunition’ and goes on from there. To this visiting Brit it came as something of a shock. They were serious about it – a demonstration that the USA is a truly foreign country, not just Britain with funny accents.

It was the same sort of shock as finding, during a business trip to Manila in the early Nineties, armed guards at the entrances of hotels, department stores and the like, alongside notices requiring patrons to check in their weapons at the reception desk.

What the program book didn’t have was the final program of talks, panels, films, meetings and so forth. I presume that they were still refining that when the book had to go to print, and such things took longer in those days. So welcome to the Pocket Program, though really it would only fit in a pocket designed for poaching, or shop-lifting.

The pocket program consisted of four sheets of paper of unusual (to me) size, about 14 inches by 8½, printed on both sides and neatly folded in half down the middle. So far, so normal. The sheets of paper were held together with a single staple. (I know this is advanced stuff, but try to stay with me.)

The staple was in the top right hand corner.

I originally tried to describe how the pocket program worked, but since this report will be on-line, not duplicated or mimeographed – ah, what joyous times we live in – I suddenly thought that pictures might work better.

This is the program – note staple position. But don’t worry, the staple doesn’t go right through. You think these Chicon IV guys are stupid or something?

When you open it, this is what you see.

So far, so good. But then when you flick through the pages, half of them are upside down. The realisation dawns that you are supposed to open it upwards, thus.

The design committee must have been having a good night when they dreamed up this little beauty.

If you can read the tiny print on the pocket program front page, you will see the words, “Smoking: One side of each function room is designated a non-smoking area. Please comply.” I have no notes and no recollection of how much smoking there was going on. Clearly, there was smoking but the amount couldn’t have been out of the ordinary for the time. Later in my trip, when about to fly from Minneapolis to Washington (wait a minute – is that a spoiler?), I was warned that the whole of the indoors at Minneapolis airport was a non-smoking area, policed strictly. This was unusual, so I have remembered it, even as a non-smoker.

I confess to smoking one and half cigarettes in my youth, on an exchange visit to France. I then made eighteen friends giving the rest of the packet away. No, I didn’t make half a friend with the half-cigarette I didn’t finish. I’m not a barbarian.